Some of the unforgettable memories that I have in my life are those of high school, made even more memorable by a few of my lovely teachers. The first thing that comes to my mind when I think about them is the way they talk in the class, with their comical pronunciation, made up grammar, bizarre rhymes all of which discordantly come together to make up what I call the atrocious teachers' talk. I was never able to completely master this talk as a result of which many a times, I have found myself absolutely dazed and confused.
Listed below are few of those hilarious moments, few of which happened to me, a few to my friends.
1. We had an amazing French teacher who was from Karaikal, formerly a French colony. His teachers' talk was so atrocious that we decided it's in our best interest if he speaks French all the time.
"French teacher: See outside. Sun very very hawt. If you talk I kneel down"
2. The geography teacher of my friend feels it's such a herculean task to remember the names of everyone in the class, so he remembers only a few. Wonder how he calls out others in the class?
"Geography teacher: Ramarathnam bai, back bench bai, diagonally across bai, stand up da.
Wrong boy: Me saar.
Geography teacher: No you worthless donkey, the other diagonal bai. "
3. Announcement made by our class teacher to bring our parents to the PTA meeting.
"Class teacher: Bring all your mummies and daddies to the PTA meeting tomorrow. "
4. My science teacher takes pride in talking in rhymes. Most of them were amusing but I could only recollect this one.
"Science teacher (spoken as if he was holding his breath and in a rhyming tone):
If you don't bring your notes on Monday,
I will break your mandai. "
5. This happened to my friend SR when his physics teacher was quizzing the class.
"Physics teacher: SR, what is the SI unit of pressure?
SR: Err… Pascal.
Physics teacher (in a barking voice): SR! Why did you call me rascal? "
6. Most students do not prefer to come to school on a sports day unless they are participating in some event. Invariably this makes our PT teacher mad. He barges into every class and the first thing he howls is
"PT teacher: All of you who are absent stand up."
7. "Math teacher (barking voice): Stannnd up mann. Yyyy are u laughing. Wooopen urr mouth and give me an answer u bloody beggar. Waaaat are u having in ur mouth. Wooopen ur damn mouth u bloody beggar.
Class mate (tries to open his mouth): Saaa…
Math teacher (barking voice): Shhut ur mouth u bloody beggar! Did I ask you to woopen ur mouth. Wooopen ur mouth wen I ask u toooo. Tell me you bloody beggar, yyyy arr u laughing in the class… (Goes on and on…)"
This goes on for a few rounds, at the end of which who ever it is at the receiving end would have undergone some serious psychological damage.
Listed below are few of those hilarious moments, few of which happened to me, a few to my friends.
1. We had an amazing French teacher who was from Karaikal, formerly a French colony. His teachers' talk was so atrocious that we decided it's in our best interest if he speaks French all the time.
"French teacher: See outside. Sun very very hawt. If you talk I kneel down"
2. The geography teacher of my friend feels it's such a herculean task to remember the names of everyone in the class, so he remembers only a few. Wonder how he calls out others in the class?
"Geography teacher: Ramarathnam bai, back bench bai, diagonally across bai, stand up da.
Wrong boy: Me saar.
Geography teacher: No you worthless donkey, the other diagonal bai. "
3. Announcement made by our class teacher to bring our parents to the PTA meeting.
"Class teacher: Bring all your mummies and daddies to the PTA meeting tomorrow. "
4. My science teacher takes pride in talking in rhymes. Most of them were amusing but I could only recollect this one.
"Science teacher (spoken as if he was holding his breath and in a rhyming tone):
If you don't bring your notes on Monday,
I will break your mandai. "
5. This happened to my friend SR when his physics teacher was quizzing the class.
"Physics teacher: SR, what is the SI unit of pressure?
SR: Err… Pascal.
Physics teacher (in a barking voice): SR! Why did you call me rascal? "
6. Most students do not prefer to come to school on a sports day unless they are participating in some event. Invariably this makes our PT teacher mad. He barges into every class and the first thing he howls is
"PT teacher: All of you who are absent stand up."
7. "Math teacher (barking voice): Stannnd up mann. Yyyy are u laughing. Wooopen urr mouth and give me an answer u bloody beggar. Waaaat are u having in ur mouth. Wooopen ur damn mouth u bloody beggar.
Class mate (tries to open his mouth): Saaa…
Math teacher (barking voice): Shhut ur mouth u bloody beggar! Did I ask you to woopen ur mouth. Wooopen ur mouth wen I ask u toooo. Tell me you bloody beggar, yyyy arr u laughing in the class… (Goes on and on…)"
This goes on for a few rounds, at the end of which who ever it is at the receiving end would have undergone some serious psychological damage.
9 comments:
Fantastic....Semma comedy da...
omg, those were hilarious! :))
Did any of your teachers say "open the window girly, let the weather in! "
Boy, high school - some fun :)
nice ones da yogi :)
couple of reminisces from moi side,
my biology teacher's talk during high school was the stuff of legend -
- if you keep taaalking like this, i will throw the window out of you
- keep silence, i say ; the principal just passed away
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Sriram
Voila ! Just a few days back we were talking about this and now I see a post here !
How about the next one on the lecturers in college ? ;-)
Hahahah.... your PT teacher really took the cake!! :D
Suber da! Every school has its share of stupid teachers. You seemed to have more than your fair share. Here are some more attributed to Simon Sir, our Games teacher.
1. When you are hungry you are angry,
When you are angry you are hungry.
2. Simon: Bai, do you see Sun TV.
Bai 1: Saar no cable at home.
Simon: You have TV
Bai 1: Yes
Simon: See under sun. Then Sun TV
Bai 1: So if I see under star, Star TV
Bai 3: Illa da. You are your fathers son. So always Sun Tv
There is a community in Orkut dedicated to Jeppiaars gems.
@aruns: I know ;)
@rads: lol. No, but I have heard that before. I have also heard others like
1. I have two daughters both of them are girls.
2. Stand in a straight circle.
@sriram: lol. I remember you mention those long time back.
@dushti: Ha ha. I don't remember that many from our college, do you?. We should talk about this someday, we might figure out something interesting.
@TBK: My personal favorite would be the French teacher. After a second of thought, everyone in the class started talking. :D
@ok: lol. That was funny.
hahaha! i louve ur geography teacher. and quite apt the subject he takes :PPPP
@baliga: lol. This also adds an element of surprise. You never know who is the bakra until he's done calling out.
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