Beware!

Trespassers will be shot.
Survivors will be shot again.

PS: Happened to see this warning sign outside someone's property.

Atrocious teachers’ talk

Some of the unforgettable memories that I have in my life are those of high school, made even more memorable by a few of my lovely teachers. The first thing that comes to my mind when I think about them is the way they talk in the class, with their comical pronunciation, made up grammar, bizarre rhymes all of which discordantly come together to make up what I call the atrocious teachers' talk. I was never able to completely master this talk as a result of which many a times, I have found myself absolutely dazed and confused.

Listed below are few of those hilarious moments, few of which happened to me, a few to my friends.

1. We had an amazing French teacher who was from Karaikal, formerly a French colony. His teachers' talk was so atrocious that we decided it's in our best interest if he speaks French all the time.

"French teacher: See outside. Sun very very hawt. If you talk I kneel down"

2. The geography teacher of my friend feels it's such a herculean task to remember the names of everyone in the class, so he remembers only a few. Wonder how he calls out others in the class?

"Geography teacher: Ramarathnam bai, back bench bai, diagonally across bai, stand up da.
Wrong boy: Me saar.
Geography teacher: No you worthless donkey, the other diagonal bai. "

3. Announcement made by our class teacher to bring our parents to the PTA meeting.

"Class teacher: Bring all your mummies and daddies to the PTA meeting tomorrow. "

4. My science teacher takes pride in talking in rhymes. Most of them were amusing but I could only recollect this one.

"Science teacher (spoken as if he was holding his breath and in a rhyming tone):
If you don't bring your notes on Monday,
I will break your mandai. "

5. This happened to my friend SR when his physics teacher was quizzing the class.

"Physics teacher: SR, what is the SI unit of pressure?
SR: Err… Pascal.
Physics teacher (in a barking voice): SR! Why did you call me rascal? "

6. Most students do not prefer to come to school on a sports day unless they are participating in some event. Invariably this makes our PT teacher mad. He barges into every class and the first thing he howls is

"PT teacher: All of you who are absent stand up."

7. "Math teacher (barking voice): Stannnd up mann. Yyyy are u laughing. Wooopen urr mouth and give me an answer u bloody beggar. Waaaat are u having in ur mouth. Wooopen ur damn mouth u bloody beggar.
Class mate (tries to open his mouth): Saaa…
Math teacher (barking voice): Shhut ur mouth u bloody beggar! Did I ask you to woopen ur mouth. Wooopen ur mouth wen I ask u toooo. Tell me you bloody beggar, yyyy arr u laughing in the class… (Goes on and on…)"

This goes on for a few rounds, at the end of which who ever it is at the receiving end would have undergone some serious psychological damage.

Wonder why

It hurts so much
when you lose something
that was never really yours.

Condescending job requirement

Saw this in the career section for a network software engineer position.

Proficient in keyboarding and mousing.

Tag – Random Facts

This has been due for quite sometime now. I was tagged by Ok.

Here are the rules.

1. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves.
2. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts.
3. Players should tag 8 other people and notify them they have been tagged.

Here I go.

1. I have always wanted to skydive, bungee jump and BASE jump at least once.
But there is always this fear that the parachute won't open up, the chord will snap and I will have a dozen lawsuits against me for illegal BASE jumping. I guess I will garner enough courage to do them someday.

2. I love my sleep.
I have been called 'sleeping beauty', 'bear in hibernation', 'sleepy head' and a whole bunch of others. I can sleep for twenty hours straight with all lights turned on, the music system blaring heavy metal and/or the room temperature being a 110 degrees Fahrenheit and still have no trouble falling asleep an hour later. In my dreams, I have made up entire movies and even dreamt of blogging about one of the characters in it. I also carry a notorious reputation of falling asleep in every class while sitting in the front row. (It's not my fault; it's the professor's fault)

3. I cannot hide my emotions.
Be it playful, funny, caring, loving, serious or angry. I have gotten myself into a fair share of trouble with the angry ones. More often with close friends as I take the liberty to express my raw emotions which at times doesn't down all too well.

4. Sometimes I tend to do things even number of times.
Things like closing the door, checking the lock, zipping the bag and so on. A few of my friends think I have obsessive compulsive disorder but frankly I think it's not that serious.

5. I've never had a drink.
I might try it once just for the heck of it but I don't see myself becoming a social drinker. Within the civilized world this is considered something abnormal. I am uncivilized.

6. I notice how people walk.
I know it's weird. But the first thing I notice about people is how they walk. It's my way of remembering them.

7. I like to cook.
I do. After being away from home for a long time, I have learnt to appreciate well cooked home food and relish those rare moments when I do have one.

8. I adore kids.
I am usually good with them too. I could play with them all day and still not be bored or tired one bit. But most of all, for the happiness it brings and the bliss of forgetting the world around.

I have to break rule 3 by tagging only two bloggers,
Divine Ravana.
Ju.

"We are ready to die, we are soldiers."

Never can I really understand the reason why countries, factions or people go to war. What is it that they are fighting for, that they are more than willing and believe they have the right to take the lives of others? The losses are so colossal that it doesn't justify any rationale behind people raging to engage in war. I do not want to go into the depths of explaining why war is wrong because for one I am not the right person and two even if I did, the complexities involved are so enormous that this post will do no justice.

Having said that, I have great respect for soldiers and what they do. To whole heartedly give up ones life so that someone else can peacefully live his or hers, is the noblest thing any one can do. Its one thing to give up your life trying to protect yourself and your family, another thing trying to protect your countrymen but it's completely something else to willingly put your life on the line to protect someone else with whom you share absolutely no affinity be it cultural, genetic, geographical or emotional.

I was reading a BBC news article on a group of all female UN peace keeping force from India to Liberia. At the end of the article was this quote by one of the soldiers, "We are ready to die, we are soldiers.". This particular quote had an immediate impact on me for the simply reason that I cannot ever imagine saying this myself. When I tried, it sent a chill down my spine and set into motion different trains of thought.

Having a family of her own, wouldn't she want to watch her kids' grow up, share her life with her husband, care for her parents and siblings, enjoy all the lovely things life has to offer? How is her life any different than ours? Yet there she is fighting someone else's war, not knowing if she will come out alive the next day. God forbid, if she doesn't, then what, a simple funeral, a short eulogy, remembered only by family, a few friends and forgotten by the rest of the world. Even though she may not be fighting for a cause, glory, idea, freedom, respect or fame, she is my true hero.

The gift

The room was small. It had among several other things, an even smaller wooden window, pictures and statues of Gods and Goddesses and a shelf high above. Even as an inquisitive child, none of these apparently stirred his curiosity. What really evoked his interest was something on that shelf high above. No one really wondered what it was doing there, gave it a thought or displayed any sort of interest in it and was therefore completely oblivious to its very existence but not him.

The gently flattened bronze globe had a circular pattern of minute exquisite flower carvings, a tiny brass knob consisting of a thin rod attached to a flat circular plate extends right above the globe, screwed on top of the globe itself is a dark green glass shade shaped like a vase. It was breathtakingly beautiful. What more, it was in perfect working condition.

Noticing her grandson's curious little eyes gazing at that something, she gently picks it up. Her eyes twinkled and her lips broke into a soft smile as she quietly looked at it. Her mind was instantly flooded with old memories. Probably it remanded her of a friend and all the playful times they shared; maybe her mom presented it for that special occasion or her husband bought and gifted it during one of their rare vacations. Whatever it was, that something was special, special enough to bring a tear of joy.

Longingly he looks at that something hoping his grandmother would let him have it. She didn't have the heart to refuse. It was special but her grandson was even more. She slowly places it in his tiny hands and wraps her delicate fingers about his. The old miniature green lamp was her gift to him.